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10 Rules to Live By for Girls (by Guys)

1. Never get wasted and tell your booty call that you love him. He is no longer your booty call after that, he is afraid now.

2. Never mix alcohol with more alcohol, and then soon after, more alcohol. You will wake up the next day with a hangover, rug burns, and a strange dream that you and ?Dave? have become a little too close.

3. If under 21: Always ?misplace your I.D.? before entering a bar. You?re a girl; there is no need for an I.D. when you have tits and a cute smile.

4. When you get pulled over by a cop never be afraid to cry. Notice how the bottom lip shakes when a baby is about to cry? This also works. Not only does this work on cops, but it works on compromising situations with a boyfriend or significant other.

5. Never overlook the balls, but be gentle.

6. Smoking can be looked at as the number one turn-off, but damn? what other methods are we supposed to use to relive all of this tension? Hmmm?

7. When a guy decides he is comfortable enough to fart in your presence, now is the time you can feel comfortable enough talking about how awful your cramps and bloating are this month.

8. Guys love it when you talk dirty, don?t be afraid or shy, the bedroom is the last place you should be inhibited.

9. Never beat a guy in beruit/beer-pong; he won?t stop until he wins. If his aim is that bad, you?ll be passed out by the time he wins his first game.

10. If he?s not around, and you have that little itch, and a showerhead, do not be afraid to use it.
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