Support Blap

Alternate Meanings for Various Words

The Washington Post recently had a contest for readers in which they were asked to supply possible alternate meanings for various words. The following are some of the winning entries ...

Abdicate--v., to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach

Carcinoma--n., a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog

Esplanade--v., to attempt an explanation while drunk

Willy-nilly--adj., impotent

Flabbergasted--adj., appalled over how much weight you have gained

Negligent--adj., describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightie

Lymph--v., to walk with a lisp

Gargoyle--n., an olive-flavored mouthwash

Bustard--n., a very rude Metrobus driver

Coffee--n., a person who is coughed upon

Flatulence--n., the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are runover by a steamroller

Balderdash--n., a rapidly receding hairline

Testicle--n., a humorous question on an exam

Semantics--n., pranks conducted by young men studying for the priesthood, including such things as gluing the pages of the priest's prayer book together just before vespers

Rectitude--n., the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a proctologist immediately before he examines you

Marionettes--n., residents of Washington, D.C., who have been jerked around by the Mayor

Oyster--n., a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish expressions

Circumvent--n., the opening in the front of boxer shorts

Frisbatarianism--n., belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
Next Joke