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Stupid Label Instructions

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's *just* a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure???)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope so!)

On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space - - or underground)

On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now, .... I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (No! ..... Really?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (Thanks for all your help.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
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