Found in restrooms around the US:
The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
* Women's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
* Men's restroom, Murphy's, Champaign, IL
If you voted for Clinton in the last election, you can't take a dump here. Your asshole is in Washington.
* Men's room Outback Steakhouse, Tacoma, Washington
Beauty is only a light switch away.
* Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, North Carolina.
I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
* Houghton Library, Harvard University, Cambridge, Massachusetts.
If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of our lives.
* Armand's Pizza, Washington, D.C.
If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
* Smoky Joe's, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Remember, it's not, 'How high are you?' it's 'Hi, how are you?'
* Rest stop off Route 81, West Virginia.
God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
* The Irish Times, Washington, D.C.
No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
* Men's Room, Linda's Bar and Grill, Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
To do is to be. -Descartes
To be is to do. -Voltaire
Do be do be do. -Frank Sinatra
* Men's restroom, Greasewood Flats, Scottsdale, Arizona.
At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry. * Bentley's House of Coffee and
Tea, Tucson, Arizona
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
* Written in the dust on the back of a bus, Wickenburg, Arizona.
Make love, not war. - Hell, do both, get married!
God is dead. -Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. -God
* The Tombs Restaurant, Washington, D.C.
If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
* Revolution Books, New York, New York
A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
* Women's restroom, Dick's Last Resort, Dallas, Texas.
JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if He had invested?
* Men's restroom, American University, Washington, D.C.
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Congress!
Express Lane: Five beers or less
* Sign over one of the urinals, Ed Debevic's, Phoenix,AZ.
You're too good for him.
* Sign over mirror in Women's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.
No wonder you always go home alone.
* Sign over mirror in Men's restroom, Ed Debevic's, Beverly Hills, CA.
What are you looking up on the wall for? The joke is in your hands.
* Men's restroom, Lynagh's, Lexington, Kentucky.